The Tired Takahina

Normally, I don't post personal story bout myself, I don't like to. What I normally post on are just social issues which I find fucked up with.

But today, I have no social issues, I find scolding people having no sense of meaning at all, after all will the society even take notice of such a minor blog which is gaining no fame or listening ears in whatever sense. Take for example the previous post in which I'm scolding people who listen to music openly and not using ear phones. Yesterday I sat the MRT only to find 2 Ah Lian to conduct the same behaviour which I have vehemently despised on.

So... why even bother scolding when nobody is listening!? This world is fucked up and the only way you can survive in it is to adapt with it. In the future, I shall blast One Night In Beijing on the MRT, mark my words.

For some reason, I don't know why but I'm so tired. Probably because I'm jerking off too much nowadays or simply I have lack of sleep. Imagine getting only 5 hrs of sleep everyday whereby the next day you have school. 7 Swords (The group in my class) will know I like to sleep around the rock wall area in school, surprisingly the wind is rather strong and cool in that area, making a good sleeping area. But still, I don't find my sleep enough. Then I realised something...

I may be tired physically, but mentally I'm more tired.

Let me just rant today. You'll notice that Takahina has never liked to say how hard life is for him as he has self awareness that in this fucked up world there will always be life more fucked up for others. Imagine Pakistan or Iraq, I don't think I need to elaborate. Therefore, if they do hear of us complaining how hard our life is, like "AH DAMN! I FAIL MY EXAMS. I WANNA GO AND DIE!" or "KANINA THIS MATHS SO HARD TO DO! WA LAO! FORGET IT AR, DUN WANNA DO LE!" they can only laugh at the deplorable Singaporeans who cries and lament on such minor troubles compared to getting bombed everyday.

At least, I have self awareness.

But today, I don't. So I shall complain and lament like a deplorable Singaporean.

I read on the newspaper once that human need at least 5 hrs of sleep to ensure their next day work. I'm reaching the minimum level I guess so by right, i should not be tired physically, i should have the energy to work perfectly the next day. But during tutorials and lectures, it's not that I don't want to listen, it is i can't help but.. sleep. ZZZZZZZzzzz

Perhaps the lesson is too boring? Perhaps the air-con provides a fine environment to sleep, I don't know. If I try to bring myself to listen, there will then be this splitting headache which i lure me to sleep again. ZZZZZZzzzzz

Also, while I'm writing this now, I feel a sense of sleepiness overwhelming me.

So what can it be? That is, I'm finally feeling the effects of stress.

There was a survey done one day in which they determine what type i am among 4 types. If I don't remember wrong it should be...

Tao Kay - Bossy
Sibei Niao - Calculative and Analysitic
Ham Chi - Timid
Sibei Char - Talkative, Sociable

I'm the sibei niao type. Suits me by the way,

They said sibei niao type releases stress by sleeping and being alone. I notice lately that's what I kinda like to do.

For example when 7 Swords went to yak over their Magic The Gathering game, I was pissed off so I went to sit alone in the hall with the fan blowing me. A girl was playing the piano there, nice tune.

Another example is i keep on sleeping early lately and I like to sleep after eating breakfast. Yay. Pig I shall be yes?

Thus I deduce i'm stressed.

But then, is this how stress feels like? Procrastinating the whole day and not doing homework at all even though there are tons of it just cause I don't feel like it. And just wanna stay at home not going out at all even if you give me free money.

It seems I'm just lazy more than anything, stress is just an excuse.

Well, what can I say. Maybe contrary to all my own beliefs, I'm a lazy person. (I use to think I'm not lazy, just tired) Maybe contrary to all my own beliefs, I'm an immature person after all. (I use to think I'm more mature than most of my peers who only compete on how good they are on card games for example.)

I don't know.

All I know is, I'm tired. I don't feel like doing homework. Heck I don't even feel like playing drum now. I don't feel like doing anything.

You know what I wanna do now? I just wanna say....

"WAH! DIE LIAO LOR!"

Pek chiek.