The Re-Furnishing Takahina

Today, I finally managed to break down a bulk of my books, files from my old room down to my new room. Then went through a lot a lot of stuff which I wrote before in the past, such as my econs essay, Gp essay, maths paper and even a Chinese Compo.

All the mindmaps, compo, outlines, focus, blah blah made me laugh and recall many things which I had done in the past.

My JC life wasn't bad. Not exciting, not angsty, not painful. Just normally normal.

Then I thought through a lot of the stuff which I went through particularly in the mental side.

I read through some of my essays, and I realised on how pesismistic I was in the past. Actually, I think I still am but then I changed a lot from before.

For example one thing I wrote about Education,

"Students are mainly concerned about their studies and the future prospects in which it'll give them. Moral education and civil education aren't really in their agenda of studying and the education system only serves to prove so with Civics and Moral Education being thrown as almost being redundant nowadays by students and parents alike. Teacher could only be half hearted in teaching such."

My thinking has changed somewhat a little. But still didn't divert too far.

My angst and fury with the society was at it's peak during the JC years. Now I can only look over it and laugh. Maybe it's cause I have given up in my personal effort of trying to get people to change.

All I need is for myself to change. That'll be enough.

I relook at myself now. What has differed? Actually quite a lot.

I'm more daring now.
I'm more optimistic... albeit just a little.
I'm more confident now.
I have an aim in life.
I don't feel anger or emotions towards the society, only pity.
I don't care about what other people says, I do what I like.
I'm not as conservative as before.
I'm still as emo as ever. Maybe even more.

Life has gotten a little more interesting don't you think?

However, I think more too now. About my future. I don't think I'm self centered now as before. Love and Romance can wait, for me they are the main factors of my emo-ness which still comes on a regular basis that is rather frequent and dependant on certain people in my life. Working in NS is second.

My future, my dreams.

I have my dreams, but to do that I have to secure my future. I was self centered enough in the past to think that dreams and future can be one. Reality is starting to prove me wrong and I think I'm mature enough to be aware of that.

I just discussed a lot on "future" with someone who helped in the current design of my room. And I gained quite a lot of insights.

I'll be freaking rich in the future. And my dreams will be fulfilled.

Looks like not only my room got re-furnished.

I got re-furnished nicely as well.