Lately nothing has happened to me, but unexpectedly I teared up thrice this week... not to the extent of really sobbing and crying, but just had tears in my eyes. From there I realised that a certain aspect of emotion, will get me tearing very easily.
First incident happened when I just finished jogging. I was walking home from Bedok Reservoir, the usual place I run at afternoon after finishing my run with Desmond. It was bright and cheery; you can ask him my mood was relatively good. Especially since it's after the project datelines and I had good sleep and exercise, everything should be fine.
But it happened after I heard this song in my mp3.
Konishi Manami - Sunny Days
It's from the movie Sweet Rain, or otherwise titled Accuracy of Death featuring Takeshi Kaneshiro. I won't break the storyplot to you, just that summarised, this movie had an underlying subtle meaning of death, importance of life and sacrifices you make for others. The song is very apt for the movie, with a melancholy after taste that reminisces the emotion from the movie
A damn good and underrated movie.
Without warning, this song played into my ears and I got reminded of the plot in the movie and the main character's story where we witnessed her from young till old. Bitterly sweet, touchingly sorrowful.
I remembered I watched this movie with Benji. I cried at the end of it. Don't be mistaken though there is no very dramatic scenes in this movie like most love stories, eg Koizora.
Secondly, it was one day at home, when I was watching this episode of GeGeGe no Kitaro (2007) on Animax.
This one was really out of the blue. Normally I don't even watch this anime at all, when I saw this on tv I'll just flip the program away. Nonetheless I watched it on that day since there was seriously nothing else on TV and I have work in a few minutes time.
GeGeGe no Kitaro talks about various spiritual experiences every different episode. So it's kinda like you can watch every episode on its own and won't miss anything. This episode I watched, is about a lady who somehow got "called" by this flower smell. It attracted her all the way to Kitaro and clues and traces of this flower smell. It turns out it's her dead Grandmother and Grandfather at this tree whereby both of them were buried without anyone else knowing. From there is a letter which depicted on how her grandmother manages to bring our lady up from being a kid to what she is and her death which was silent and in happiness upon the independence of our lady.
I seriously have no idea why I would tear up about this. Did it remind me of any inner memories I don't know. I admit though that episode is one of the most touching episodes in any anime I had watched. But I doubt I'll watch Gegege no Kitaro again. :/
And the most latest is just now, right before writing this blog when I just finished reading the article on MM Lee. You guys can go and read about it, his intake on life right now.
Despite all the things I have wrote, said and thought about him, in the end at the face of death and his now bed-ridden wife, human emotions flows out of his usually stoic and strong appearance. I respect MM Lee for everything he has done and all the sacrifices he has made, after reading that article he kind of got to me even more. Now in the wee-years of life, it all kinds of become a grand finale that is a certainty to anyone to come.
Reflecting a bit, it's this finale that gets to me every time.
I did declare before that I'm afraid of death. That could be the reason as to why whenever I think about death and all the surreal emotions that comes along with death, it gets undeniably painful. Emotions and sacrifices all made only served to enhance the pain. The weird thing is all these death, are not sudden death or deaths that are unexpected. It all happened to people, who expected death to come, old age or chronic diseases . Accidents and sudden deaths on the other hand, doesn't get to me at all. Maybe it's the reflections that comes along only with expected death, that makes it annoyingly touching for me.
Death is a certainty, the reflections that comes with it is what that is worth remembering.
I did declare before that I'm an emotional person who sobs. So if you want to see Takahina cry, just find information or articles that are similar in nature, and get me to seriously read it and think about it. Yeah you can see me cry.
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