I mean, I have talked about death for tons and tons of time, again and again. But then I don't know why the topic of death intrigues me so much.
Well, this time 2 things sparkled my interest.
Just the day when I finished my FSB test (Monday), I went to watch Rurouni Kenshin Seisouhen.
And well, naturally most of you people out there who don't watch anime or watch Rurouni Kenshin, aka Samurai X, this anime is the final instalment for this epic anime series. Seisouhen is a follow up of the story, from even after the manga ends. Naturally this means that this story is not from the original author, but still it's an official release and it means the last of the story... when I mean the last, I meant THE LAST. It's the most conclusive ending ever.
I don't wanna spoil it for people who have watched and read Rurouni Kenshin and is interested in seeing Seisouhen. But then... you don't need to be a rocket scientist to know what I'm talking about. Death here. I mean, it doesn't get more definitive than that. Imagine Naruto dying in his manga. No more Naruto liao right?
And of course, watching Seisouhen made me weep like a crybaby.
Then of course, the big news that happened last week, the death of our Immortal Lee's wife. It swept the whole country and even made Genting's share prices drop from $2 to $1.80. My father missed the chance to buy the stocks, and now the stocks rose back to almost $2.20... this made him piping mad.
Believe me... Behind my smile... I am ANGRY!! @%$@#%$^@^#$&@%^@&@
Seriously, you don't wanna mess with Takapapa.
But these 2 deaths have a seemingly worrying similarity.
SPOILER ALERT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
. U SURE U DON'T MIND THE SPOILERS?
.
.
.
.
.
.
When Kenshin passed away in Seisouhen (yes yes yes... I still said out the spoilers), it brought relief to him and his last struggle in life. His struggle of believing in his beliefs and seeking penance for the all the killings he had done, was finally resolved at his death. This brought out a bittersweet and depressing ending to the epic life of our hero. He found peace at his expected death and his loved ones, like Kaoru have seen everything and experienced everything and understood everything. She understood the peace Kenshin finally got at the end of everything but still can't help but be sad at it all. And since Kaoru has got the same disease as him, she knows she'll join him soon. It's like saying...
"It's ok. You can go now. I'll join you soon and we will view the falling sakura together."
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
. Ok I know this is irritating. By the way I had written a new review for this Anime series in Takahina's Reviews
For Mdm Kwa, her final 2 years were painful for everyone around her. Surely we all would have experienced or seen something similar to maybe our friends or relatives. The pain of seeing someone close to death, yet still hanging on dearly. When she passed away, and when Lee Kwan Yew was giving his final speech on the wake, you can see the inner strength he has. For someone being able to give such a touching speech and not shed even a drop of tear, that shows of someone with truly an soul. The last kiss he gave her upon her departure, the last look he had for her... I'm pretty sure it contained tons of emotions for all his struggle and everything his wife had done for him at the end. He may not cry in front of the camera, but I believe deep inside him, it hurts more than anyone else. Mdm Kwa's death could be a sense of release for her and MM Lee Kwan Yew, maybe like saying...
"It's ok. You can go now. I'll join you soon and we can watch how Singapore grows together."
Both of them kinda have the same factors, death as a form of relief and peace finally obtained for the departed ones and loved ones. Death is astonishingly painful and yet bittersweet.
I don't have the literacy, if not I would have added in a phrase or poem to compliment to this feeling.
I have mentioned before on death being a final dateline and report book, on death being a fear, on death being sad and depressing, now I'm talking about death being a form of bittersweet relief.
I may not be mature enough to understand fully the notion of death. The current person closest to me that died was my tuition teacher Miss Lee, and up till now I haven't got anything relatively close. Somehow though, when people know they are about to die and that everything is finally done, like they have done their dues for being in this world, that peace which they had obtained and expressed in their faces, is invaluable, and at the same time heart-wrenching for people around. Because it meant...
"I am ready. You can take me now."
Somehow after watching Seisouhen, it made me have this very mixed feelings within me right now. Even up till now, this anime scene haunts me. I don't know I should feel happy knowing that Kenshin has obtained peace, or sad that he died. This is just an anime scene, imagine what will happen to me if it is in real life, I won't know whether I can survive the pain or not.
Euthanasia was something that I had supported ever since I saw how my grandfather struggled at his death bad. It made me realized sometimes things would be better off once you realized that you have no more chance of survival. You would only become a burden if that happens to everyone around you and you as a person won't want that to happen, you would rather die than be a burden, hence Euthanasia should be allowed.
Now I'm thinking twice.
A person should be responsible for allocating his own death. When he wants to die, should be decided by his inner peace; that inner soul within him. When he finally understood everything, that inner peace should be able to flow out and people around, would finally know that that is when he's ready. Instead if once you become a burden with no chance of survival, you should die under Euthanasia, this is painful. Had this been supported in Singapore, Mdm Kwa would have died 2 years ago. Kenshin would have been put to rest by Sanosuke.
Death is a very strange thing in that everyone would have different response to it. I believe that had you not achieved what you want in life, you would not want to die. Even if you really had to die, that death will be estranged and painful more rather than peaceful for the deceased. Few can achieve the notion of RIP. Religion can help achieve peace, relationships can help achieve peace, dreams can help achieve peace, forgiveness can help achieve peace. I guess at the end of the day this peace is still ultimately difficult to achieve, because it's the person who has to be at peace himself. Unless you have been satisfied with your own report book of life, you won't get peace.
My grandfather in my own personal opinion, didn't score a big score in his life report book. But the look on his face when he passed away was unforgettable, despite all that he done, he still realized this peace within him as he went away.
Same as my tuition teacher as she finally realized her own peace with the success of her students and meeting all of them for the last time at her bed in the hospital and the help from the religion that she has scorned throughout her life(Christianity). She finally passed away the night when she was visited by the last student who flown in from overseas to see her.
I don't know how this would affect any of you but I know now, at least I have grown a bit more mature.
The next time you do get a chance to witness something similar, please reflect and experience the crunch of emotions you do get inside, the bittersweet depression that can only be experienced from true peace. For it's these emotions, that make you more human.
No comments:
Post a Comment